


A Mind Lively

by thateliz



Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: for the FF gift exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-22 04:16:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17052956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thateliz/pseuds/thateliz
Summary: An unemployed jester is nobody’s fool.





	A Mind Lively

**Author's Note:**

> Written for dodonoooo as part of the ff gift exchange! :)
> 
> (Also, I've borrowed tiny-rabbert’s Master Attendant)

‘Which is it this time?’ their master said.

Ume Ochazuke stood inside the study, wringing her hands as she watched Plum Juice place a basket of broken shards on their master’s desk. It was a familiar scene, too common an occurrence that they had already stopped bothering to count the instances and the damages.

‘This used to be a jadeite lamp,’ Plum Juice said. ‘An antique worth eight million coins.’

Their master leaned back in her seat, looking as though she was begging forbearance from her ancestors. ‘And now it’s eight million useless pieces.’

It was an accident, Ume wanted to say. It was just a prank gone wrong. She could find a way to repay it, she could work to replace it—

‘This lamp had been in my family for fifteen generations,’ said their master.

Ume felt cold. It wouldn’t matter if she worked for a hundred lifetimes; the lamp had value that could never be quantified.

‘I’m sorry, master.’

Their master stared blankly.

‘You’ve said that so many times that I’m beginning to doubt the sincerity.’ Their master picked up a large piece from the basket, inspecting it with visible melancholy. ‘Perhaps it’s time we have a little discipline in this house.’

‘I agree, master,’ Plum said. As their master’s accountant his work was the most affected by the damages from Ume’s constant pranks. ‘You’ve been too lenient with everyone.’

‘Then everyone shall feel the changes we will implement.’ Their master stood up, taking the basket with her. ‘I should bring this to my grandfather’s grave. Plum, can I depend on you and Zongzi to run this madhouse today?’

‘Of course.’

‘Good. And as for you—’ she turned to Ume— ‘Plum shall make an example of you. Not as punishment, but as a lesson in proper behaviour.’

‘I understand, master,’ Ume said, her head down. ‘I’m truly sorry.’

Her master gave a tight smile. ‘So am I.’

 

-<>-

 

Ume knew her own capabilities and skills, or the lack thereof, and was painfully aware that even with her strengths she would still pale in comparison to the other food souls assigned in the restaurant with her – Hawthorne was quickest in the kitchen, Pudding’s efficiency in front-of-house operations was unmatched, and only Pancake’s quirky charm could convince the diners to make the most expensive choices.

And herself? A middling cook. A forgettable face. Her presence wasn’t exactly crucial, and her absence even less. And so she could only berate herself for feeling a trifle hurt when everyone declined her offer of assistance, all with the awkward excuses given to unwanted guests.

‘They are wary of you, obviously,’ Plum Juice was saying, eyes on his spreadsheets. Ume had returned to the office to ask the managers for something to do, since her “lesson” was to assist the people she had offended before. ‘I suppose this treatment is plain enough lesson. Find something useful to do on your own, as I have no employment for you in here—’

There was a crash in the adjoining room, and a cloud of dust entered the office. Ume looked on in alarm as a panicked voice could be heard among the still-dropping unseen objects. ‘Erm, Plum Juice, shouldn’t we…?’

‘If you want to, feel free. I have tax returns to do.’

Yuxiang emerged from the dust, coughing.

‘Really, Plum?’ Her voice was strained from coughing, but the amusement couldn’t be mistaken. ‘I could have been buried and hurt under those old records, and you wouldn’t rescue me?’

‘The master would be updating ancestral burial records in there later,’ Plum Juice said, not bothering to look at the disaster behind him. ‘I would advise to have the room tidied up before she returns.’

‘How little you care for me and—oh! Hello, Ume.’ Yuxiang moved to lean against Plum’s desk. ‘Not someone I see everyday. What brings you here?’

Ume brightened. Yuxiang’s was the first friendly face she’d seen since morning. ‘I’m here to receive my sentence.’

‘Sentence? Why, have you been up to your usual mischief again? Who’s the poor creature this time?’

‘I was aiming for Boston Lobster.’

Yuxiang’s eyes widened in interest. ‘Did you get him?’

‘Clean. And master’s antique lamp too.’

Yuxiang covered her mouth. ‘Oh, dear. So that’s why you’re here. Plum incriminated you, hadn’t he?’

‘Please don’t sit on my folders, Yuxiang,’ Plum Juice said. ‘You should tidy up your mess if you have time for prattle.’

‘Grouch.’ Yuxiang smiled at him. ‘I’ll need your help arranging the books. I can’t exactly put them back on my own, you know.’

‘I’d like to help,’ Ume said. ‘Not because it’s my punishment, but I’d love to assist you. That is, if you wouldn’t mind…’

‘Punishment?’ Yuxiang raised a brow. ‘That was serious? The master is punishing people now?’

‘And why not?’ Plum said. ‘It’s about time for the master to be strict. Her food souls should be easing her worries, not adding to them.’

‘Good point,’ Yuxiang said. ‘Anyway, since you’re punishing Ume, I’d rather have her help me instead. I can’t let the poor thing suffer the company of grumpy old men.’

‘Do as you please. That’s what she’s here for, at any rate.’

Ume followed Yuxiang to the next room. She had severely underestimated the work to be done – rolls of papers were out of their baskets, some of the books have had their pages unclipped from their binders, and a few of the shelves were parallel to the floor. Not to mention the fine powder of antique dirt that had settled on every surface.

Ume didn’t bother to ask how it happened.

 

-<>-

 

_…he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in—_

‘Oh, you’re still here.’

Ume quickly closed the book shut, looking up and around her. It was already late in the afternoon.

She’d been in there since morning; it was her second day of assisting in and cleaning the study, and earlier she had stumbled upon Yuxiang’s personal shelf, which was filled with books in varied languages. She had picked up a book with a silhouette of a lady’s profile, decided to read a page, then another, reaching two hundred pages until she was interrupted.

‘I’m sorry, I was just… er…’

‘Reading. That much is obvious,’ Yuxiang said, pulling out a thick hardcover. ‘But why are you on the floor? There are chairs over there, with better lighting too. Come, I’ve just brought in some tea. We can read together.’

They navigated through the room, which was still not completely sorted. The shelves were already upright and dusted, but the books were still on the floor – on neat piles, but still quite a task to organise.

‘I keep forgetting about these things,’ Yuxiang said, stopping before the baskets of rolled documents. ‘Like this… this receipt from _thirty years ago_. My goodness! I should bin some of these tomorrow. Will you help me?’

‘I’d love to,’ Ume said, genuinely eager; it’s not as though she had anything else to do, not when the newcomer Toast had already taken most of the tasks usually assigned to her. ‘I would like to keep the papers you’ll be throwing out, though.’

Yuxiang gave a knowing smile. ‘I suppose paper-crafts can’t break expensive lamps. If you need rubber bands, I have a lot of them.’

‘What about glue?’

‘What kind, the washable or the permanent ones?’

They shared a laugh.

‘Throwing things out should give us space for important things… like more books.’ Yuxiang sat on one of the large cushioned chairs, quickly pouring tea for the both of them. ‘I hope we can empty at least one shelf, so the master would have an excuse to buy more books. She’ll jump for joy.’

Ume doubted that their cold and reserved master would do such a thing; the woman rarely smiled and even her anger was too sedate. Just like the previous day, when their master had returned and found the chaos of the library Ume had feared a thorough scolding, but their master had simply commented that the room needed a fresh coat of paint, and then bade them goodnight.

Watching the cheerfully humming Yuxiang over the teacup, Ume wondered why the other woman hadn’t been punished or at least chided, and if having the same literary interests as their master had given Yuxiang an unfair advantage over them all.

‘It’s because the usual mess I make doesn’t negatively affect anyone,’ Yuxiang said.

Ume realised that she had spoken her thoughts aloud – terrible habit of hers – but the mortification didn’t arrive. Instead she said, ‘You’re not offended?’

‘Oh, you couldn’t upset me if you tried.’ Yuxiang was chuckling, already curling on the large armchair and starting on her book. ‘Anyway, enough talk, let’s read.’

Ume suddenly felt a rush, as though she had been challenged.

 

-<>-

 

‘The Phantom of the Library? What sort of nonsense is that?’

Yuxiang couldn’t help but laugh. She’d been busy assisting their master with guild projects for the past week, and this was what she would hear upon her return? That her library had become haunted?

‘You’ve been gone too long,’ Ume said. ‘Anyone who entered the room would hear these whispers in their ear and then the lights would go off, and…’

‘And?’

‘The cards are missing.’ Plum Juice was clearly not amused. ‘It’s impossible to find anything.’

Yuxiang drew smoke from her pipe. ‘Missing? How?’

‘If I knew how in the world an entire file drawer could disappear I wouldn’t ask for your help now would I.’

Ume saw how Plum Juice’s frustration became visible as he looked at Yuxiang.

Ume tried her best to stifle a grin. If only people would approach the corner where the drawer was supposed to be, instead of letting their eyes stop them, they would realise that the drawer _was_ there, merely painted with the same shade as the wall and that a tall mirror on its side was simply reflecting the window and the walls. Ume could see its outline from where she sat wiping dusty book covers.

‘Is there a way to find anything without the cards?’ Plum Juice asked. ‘Or will I again waste an entire day opening every single binder in this room?’

‘Don’t panic, Plum,’ Yuxiang said, amused. ‘Just tell me what you need. I know where everything is.’

And she truly did. Everyone who dropped by the library in the next few days got everything they needed, and most had even commented that asking Yuxiang was more efficient than finding it themselves.

‘What if you’re not here again?’ Ume asked. ‘And someone needs something urgently?’

‘I doubt there’s anything in here that would be needed in urgency,’ said Yuxiang with a chuckle. ‘But if there is, it won’t be a problem because I’m already making new cards. Bigger ones, too. I was lucky Hotdog was bored, so she painted these lovely things for me. Here, have a look.’

‘Wow, they’re beautiful,’ Ume said in surprise. The colours were truly wonderful, and she thought the index cards should be displayed rather than to have them collect dust in the catalogue drawers. ‘This is a lot of work, isn’t it? You’re not irked that you have to do it?’

‘It _is_ a lot of work,’ Yuxiang said. ‘But I’ve always wanted to change the catalogue with a different sort order, and now I can have that with these new cards. So I’m actually glad the old ones went missing.’

Ume felt the pang of failure. All that effort to hide the drawer behind an optical illusion, wasted!

 

-<>-

 

Days later, the shelves became a lovely but confusing sight. The books and records were suddenly arranged by colour, and even with the new catalogue it was impossible for anyone to find anything quickly. 

The phantom watched in glee.

But they would soon realise the critical point they had missed – that there was a possibility that Yuxiang knew every cover by heart.

 

-<>-

 

‘It’s the Phantom, Madam Yuxiang! You have to believe us!’ Hawthorne was grasping Yuxiang’s arm in fright. ‘I was looking for that old recipe book because the master said we need to serve festival meals and then the lights went off and then Pancake said he felt something cold touch his neck and then suddenly we were being pulled by our legs and we were saved only because big sister Ume found us! Right, big sister Ume? You saw it too! The shelves were moving!’

Yuxiang patted the girl in comfort before sending them on their way and promising to write down the recipe they need.

‘Moving shelves…’ Yuxiang began to chuckle. ‘I heard them screaming from the end of the hall. I wish I’d seen why.’

And Ume’s trickster pride took another hit.

 

-<>-

 

Ume tried her hardest not to laugh, watching Plum Juice behind the desk cradle his head as he spoke with Yuxiang.

‘Everyone is coming in here now,’ Plum Juice grumbled. ‘And for what? To ask you for stuff they could find themselves, but wouldn’t, because they’re frightened to go in the library. And for some reason everyone expects me to engage in _small talk_. Good grief. When will we have our peace back?’

‘I think it’s wonderful, actually,’ said Yuxiang. ‘People are starting to think that libraries are interesting… well, in this house, at least. Isn’t that right, Ume?’

Ume nodded. ‘And more of them are reading now, too.’

‘See? Come now, Plum, let’s put those documents of yours in a binder and Ume will label it for us.’

They went in, and were greeted with a clean and bright library. The walls were white, the shelves were white; and the novels, record books and even the binders all had new dust-jackets, also white.

It was impossible to distinguish one from the other, and would surely become another source of endless frustration for the people looking for records or books.

Plum stood in the entrance, face like stone. ‘This is ridiculous. I didn’t want to inform the master, but this has gone far enough.’

‘Let me do it,’ Yuxiang said, her eyes darting to Ume. ‘After all, this library is my responsibility.’

 

-<>-

 

Ume wasn’t sure why Yuxiang would want to bother their master with this phantom business when the woman was clearly exhausted from her trip. Hearing this sort of news would surely anger their master and Ume feared she would be truly punished this time.

She sighed. Her master might not be pleased later, but Ume supposed she could still help her unpack.

But instead of suitcases what greeted them was a large crate taller than their master.

‘Oh, finally,’ Yuxiang said.

Ume jumped back in surprise when Yuxiang sent out a stream of controlled fire from her pipe, melting the metal latches from the crate, which immediately collapsed without its fastenings, its contents smoothly spilling on the front room’s marble flooring.

Ume’s jaws went slack; Yuxiang could have burnt the furniture, but once again there was no scolding from their master’s part and the woman even looked amused as she joined Yuxiang on the floor.

‘First edition,’ Yuxiang’s voice was low as she cradled a heavy-looking book. ‘How did you get your hands on these, master?’

‘I must have been possessed. I’m sure I wouldn’t have managed if I hadn’t mimicked how Mitsuko had—’

‘No! No spoilers, master!’ Yuxiang was laughing. ‘I haven’t finished it yet because you’ve brought it with you.’

‘No, I haven’t. What I’ve got is a translated copy, courtesy of Raindrop Cake, bless him.’

‘Poor man doesn’t know what he’s got himself into, doesn’t he.’

Their master chuckled, and Ume was taken aback by the bright expression. ‘But thanks to him I can now embrace or throttle Sonoko in my mind for eternity.’

_Sonoko?_

Ume’s brows rose. ‘Is it because of her blind devotion even after the betrayals?’ she said out loud without meaning to, and both women turned to her. ‘Ah, I’m sorry! It’s just that I’ve seen that book when I lived in Sakurajima, master.’

‘Really? Did you enjoy it?’ Their master was smiling at her, making Ume feel unsure how to interact with this friendly side of the unapproachable master she was used to seeing. ‘What did you think of the characters?’

‘I’ve only skimmed through it for the most part, master,’ Ume said, and then her mouth automatically cited everything she could recall from the book.

‘That’s not the answer I would expect from someone who’d “skimmed” a book.’ Their master smiled wider. ‘Come here, Ume, and tell me if you’ve already seen any of these.’

She had, and all of them apparently, surprising their master.

There wasn’t exactly a lot to do if one was locked up, Ume wanted to explain, and that the last house she’d lived in also had a lot of books but her former master had no interest in them.

‘You’ve never mentioned being this well-read,’ their master said, genuinely impressed. ‘Well, that’s good because I encourage reading in this house. I’ve bought all these so that anyone who isn’t familiar with Sakurajima’s culture would have an enjoyable way to discover it.’

‘Oh, that’s very generous,’ Ume said. ‘I thought you’ve bought them only because you’re obsessed with rare editions.’

When she realised what she said her hand flew to her mouth, and she immediately thought that just because her master was smiling in her presence it didn’t automatically mean she was free to annoy the woman with jokes.

‘Eh, admittedly,’ their master said, not at all offended. ‘By the way, I’ve heard you’re always in the library now, Ume.’

Ume froze; of course Yuxiang would send her letters.

Ume saw how their master cherished books, so of course it shouldn’t be a surprise if she wouldn’t want the prankster Ume Ochazuke anywhere near her treasures. Ume would be banned in the library, the only place she was able to let her mind go free, the only place she needn’t compare herself to anyone, and where a kind person didn’t dismiss her on sight and seemed to genuinely enjoy their conversations and shared with her jokes. Even Plum Juice humoured her sometimes. Peking Duck too, whenever the man felt like invading the office with his rowdy children.

‘I’ve been helping Yuxiang in the library, master. Cleaning, organising, and… and…’ Ume truly couldn’t bear the thought of losing her sanctuary. ‘I swear everything is intact.’

‘I certainly hope so. We wouldn’t want Plum or Coffee to complain again, now would we?’ their master said. ‘Anyway, if you ever see the phantom, kindly tell him I would appreciate it if he’d wrap these books in white dust-jackets too. Those were better than the awful and useless glossy things that come with books these days.’

‘What?’ Ume blurted out.

‘The Phantom of the Library. That’s what everyone’s been calling this new hero.’

‘Hero?’ Ume parroted. ‘But the phantom has been scaring off people, keeping them from going inside the library...’

‘Exactly,’ their master said. ‘He’s keeping careless hands away from my fragile first editions. Maybe I should reward him for it.’

Yuxiang nodded. ‘You should, master. The library has never been cleaner. What do you think, Ume?’

Ume needed a few seconds before she could speak again. ‘I think we should appease him, but not too much. He might start sending envelopes with wax seals of skulls demanding twenty thousand coins a month.’

Their master laughed.

‘As long as they don’t start dropping chandeliers, I’m fine with twenty thousand coins.’ Their master stood up, taking a few books. She gave Ume a knowing look. ‘Tell the phantom well done, and that I expect him to punish anyone who handles my books without care.’

When their master left, Ume finally allowed herself to grin. ‘Have I been given permission to terrorise people now?’

‘Looks like it,’ Yuxiang said. ‘Go wild. There’s nothing valuable to lose in the office and library… well, except for the master’s books, obviously.’

‘And Plum Juice’s sanity.’

They shared a laugh.

‘Thank you,’ Ume said, softly, sincerely.

Yuxiang shrugged. ‘I’d hate for you to be punished again. So I had to tell the master you were protecting her books instead of trying to prank me.’

‘You were frustratingly difficult to trick.’

‘I’m not. You were just a terrible trickster,’ Yuxiang said, standing up. ‘Really terrible, because now there's no one we could ask to carry these books. Everyone except Brownie is frightened to go near the library.’

Ume looked out the window, saw the child-souls playing in the grass and a certain pair being chased by Sanma’s angry cats.

‘There's one. Muscle-bound and silly,’ Ume said. ‘And the other…’

‘No,’ Yuxiang said firmly. ‘I will not suffer horrid love poems and roaming hands.’

‘You wouldn’t have to,’ Ume said. ‘Do you know, Hotdog has a life-sized mannequin she uses for reference.’

‘I do now.’ Yuxiang mirrored the slow grin. ‘I’ll make tea, then. Good luck, phantom.’

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey @dodonoooo I hope this is sensible enough to meet your expectations ;_;
> 
> \-------  
> * Ume was reading "Emma".  
> ** Master Attendant was talking about the book "Quicksand".  
> \-------
> 
> Merry Christmas, FooFans! :D


End file.
